England Simpson: A Warrior's Epic

Here's the thing

2007-05-16T16:34:00.000-04:00

I totally forgot my blogger password. So, for the last few months I have been S.O.L... Sorry. Anyway, I'm back and I have exciting news:

1.) I have a new project coming out called, Sk8 Magic, and my sister Paris is in this one, as well:)

2.) "I think I'm turnin' Japanese, I really hope so." I'm moving to Japan. I am talking with a few people "in the industry," and I know for a fact that I will be getting acting work overseas!

3.) I lost some weight. Now, this is coming from the chica who is proud to be round; but this is a personal victory all my own.

4.) This isn't really exciting; nonetheless... The project I was doing, Grinder, is coming out later next year. Yeah, apparently Rider Strong (of "Boy Meets World" fame) is in talks to star in this film...which means, someone else lost their job... Um, is my part safe? I dunno, maybe they'll get Mo'Nique to play my part. I would rather see her partially nude, than my lumpy ass:)

I know, I know...Its been hella long...

2007-03-20T21:34:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to let you guys and dolls know that one of my projects is finally coming to DVD. Serial, is being distributed by Michigan Street DVD! So go to, www.amazon.com and pick up your copy today!

mR.j

Gimme a beat!

2006-12-03T23:53:00.000-05:00

I think I like this photography thing. Look at some photos that I took.

Hot Fox Trott...

2006-11-22T19:39:00.000-05:00

Hey,

There is a dead baby fox in my sisters' bedroom. Um, we thought we had a rodent problem, so we put out rat poison to get rid of...whatever, and it ended up being a baby fox. We are afraid to handle it, so we offered my broke-ass friend, Heather, $50 bucks to take care of it...then we felt guilty...So, the fox is still there. Um, good times.

Mr.J
-p.s.-It could be a: boil weevil, possum, lemur, woodchuck, etc. We really don't know what it is; but it's DEFINITELY not a rat!

It recently came to my attention...

2006-11-14T11:34:00.001-05:00

...that I do not trust God. Wow, isn't that heavy? Listen, I'm a mover and a shaker, and I firmely believe that my fate is in my own hands. Now, just because I love God and I believe in him, does not mean that I trust him. I always panic when monetary issues come to light, and I don't trust that God has my back. Um, maybe I should fix that.

E

SRTV TOP 10 COUNTDOWN

2006-10-21T17:23:00.000-04:00

Good Day to you all! I know its been a while since I have updated my blog...wanna fight about it? Anywho, I will be seen on international television. Yep, that's right. Tune into the INSP channel (cable channel 78 for all you Charlotteans) on Wednesday, October 25th @ 5:00 p.m. and watch me make a fool of myself on The Steelroots Top 10 Countdown. Steelroots is a genre show for music and extreme sports fans. You should check out the website @ www.steelroots.com

Holla,
mR.j

Fangoria

2006-09-15T14:50:00.000-04:00

As you all know, I will be in the new horror film, Grinder. I expected to hear local buzz about it; but to read it in Fangoria...I was stoked. Read the article here: http://www.fangoria.com/news_article.php?id=2747

mrj

Broken Hearts: We spark then fade, they die by three

2006-09-05T17:51:00.000-04:00

Okay, half of that title was stolen from my friend; but it's the truth. I always thought that I was a very...indifferent person. Lately, I've been proving myself WRONG. The recent death of Steve "The Crocodile Hunter" Irwin, left me emotionally drained. He had two young children, and an equally devout wife, Terry. A very entertaining and copied man, he was one of the biggest conservationist in the world. I was first introduced to his show by my friend Terri, who was obsessed and only wished that she had the moxie to do all that Steve did...she had a mad crush on him. Everytime we were together, and the show was on...we watched it.

Steve will be missed. And if there is a time where I am stronger in faith, it would have to be now. Because I believe that in death, Steve's spirit is living on. He is listening to our thoughts and prayers for his family, and he probably appreciates it. He would be floored at the reaction of love and adoration he is receiving.

mrj

Sorely missed

2006-07-16T18:53:00.000-04:00

You know what I miss? The awesome relationship I had with Jesus. The pure, unadulterated...oblivious life that I lived when I was a Jesus Freak. I miss being a youth in my church's youth group. I miss the day where the only "hardcore" music that I listen to was: Jars of Clay, DC Talk, and Audio Adrenaline. I miss praise and worship. But I do not miss how I lacked personality. I don't miss the fact that I was just another person in the machine known as organized religion. I lacked character; I was literally brought up with blinders on my eyes. It was a bit refreshing, yet scary, once the blinders came off; but it was for the best. But I still miss those summer days. Sitting at youth church eating hotdogs and chips, while getting slain in the spirit. I will always miss the camaraderie of the youth camp trips, and all of the games we played on the ride down to Tennessee. That was a part of my youth that I would never change. Thank God for it; but thank God for the "England" with the amazing personality. Thank God for the England that will never again condemn a man or woman for being homosexual. Thank God for the England that will proudly march in a Pride parade. Thank you God for my piercings, and my tattoos. Thank you God...Why am I crying right now? Thank you God for still loving me, even though I didn't marry young, and strayed from the "ministry." I will always love you; but not like I did when I was an oblivious little girl.

Your friends left some piles of BM in my bedroom

2006-07-16T18:19:00.000-04:00

It is hot as hell, here in Charlotte. With the heat comes feelings of depression and aggravation. Well, not for everyone, just me...nonetheless...it's hot as hell. Hey, I need some advice. I have this guy friend that I want to be more-than-friends with; but he's a bit oblivious. I went out on a limb and sort of asked him out... I'm pretty sure he's into me; but he doesn't know how to go about it. Cuando es? What should I do?

mrj

I will sing the song that ends the Earth...

2006-06-25T12:23:00.000-04:00

...and you can't tell me that a banshee cry wouldn't be the best mutant power to have. Anyway, I have a lot of projects coming up! New project with new partner, Jason David. Random Access TV! It is hilarious, it is poignant; it should not be missed! Check out, www.randomaccesstv.net Also, I'm gonna be in a new horror film called, Grinder! I start filming for it in August! Oh, and I have a new website, it kinda sucks; but it gets the information out!

E

Out of Style

2006-06-05T22:39:00.000-04:00

Guess what? I don't know who lied; but education does NOT equal higher paying jobs. I have not found a job since graduating from college. The only thing I have is a $14,000 bill, that I have to start paying back in July. I'm starting to worry; and I have taken a step back...I now work at the same place that I worked at in high school. I want to shoot myself in the foot. I'm beginning to pimp myself out! I'm willing to work for free at reputable television stations, in hope that they will eventually give me a paying job. I hate this... I feel as if I am suffering for some wrong doing. Oh, and lest we not forget the subject line: Out of style. Yeah, black women are out of style. Actually, we were never IN style. Every man in any race, creed, or religion dreams of having a white woman; there I said it. And I think some white women know this, therefore they show their "true colors" in a relationship...Not fearing the repercussion; because they know that they are desired by every man. Um-Hm.

mrj

The blood and burial of us.

2006-05-09T12:34:00.000-04:00

When everything in your life is going great there is always that one part of your life that needs improvement. So many good things are happening: I'm graduating from college this week, my friend and I merged our two production companies together, and my acting is going well. I am truly happy; BUT I recently lost a friend. It's the worst feeling in the world, but I have to continue on. I can not let this stop me. I will spare you the details; but basically my friend (whom I still care deeply about) grew tired of my personality. I'm a very "passionate" person. I am very career-oriented. Needless to say, I am rabid when it comes to my work. She couldn't handle that.

On a lighter note: Our show has a new member! Remember that face lift I was speaking of? Well, this person is bringing all of that to the table. Also, we are now showing music videos and film trailers on the show. The first batch just came in! Check out www.calahanrocks.com, for information on the first band we are featuring on our show. We will be showing two videos from their spankin' new album! Good things to come!

E

Dick did it to me again.

2006-04-05T12:02:00.000-04:00

I just finished watching the last episode of Law and Order: SVU, for this season (season 7). There was phenomenal acting, tears, screams, and yells. Mariska Hargitay (Olivia Benson) is about to have a baby, so she is going to be away from the show for a while. In last nights episode, Benson and Stabler (Chris Meloni) is going after a maniac who literally slices children in two...just for kicks. This episode was graphic, and I almost threw up during one scene. Anyway, long story super short. Elliot and Olivia are almost killed, Elliot (without hesistation) went to help Olivia. On the other hand, Olivia admitted to Elliot that she wouldn't have done the same. They were both snotting and crying their eyes out after the immediate danger was over. During this dramatic occurence they both decided that they care WAY too much for each other, and Olivia decided to get a new partner. OMIGOD, Dick? You can't leave me hanging like that. You penetrate me with a good story, and you leave right after the climax. I'm pissed at you Dick Wolf, creator of the Law & Order series!

mrj

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost for that smell!

2006-03-17T12:23:00.000-05:00

I have neglected this blog. Because of my neglect I am now 3 post behind. There was so much I wanted to share with you; but I haven't the time. So now, I am going to post all three blogs (in most recent order), and I hope you will enjoy.

1.) Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost for that smell!

3/16/2006- I had a crazy Wednesday night. I will not go into details; but t'was a crazy night. While talking to two friends (both males) my nostrils were filled with the lovely fragrance of cologne. Now, I am a sucker for a good-smelling man; and if it's the right scent (Curve for men) then it's possible that my draws will drop. Anyway, both of them (my friends) were wearing the same cologne, and they both are very attractive. So I calmly tried to collect myself; but while giving them a hug (wow, I'm getting heated just typing this out) I whispered: "Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost for that smell!" It was a very awkward moment; but I recovered. Then, later the next day I smelled the same cologne while walking to work; I was compelled to say it again: "Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost for that smell!" Praise be to God for men who smell good.

2.) It's God, truly God.

3/14/2006-God and I had a talk today. He revealed himself to me through an uncommon medium...Television. I was watching Oprah, and there was a girl on there who was abusing her body as a result of being sexual abused at a young age. Oprah sympathized with her (b/c as we all know, Oprah was a victim of sexual abuse) and Oprah made a comment that touched me in a serious way: "Most people believe that if someone is abused at a young age that once the physical pain has passed, then a victim has already dealt with the situation. Especially, if you live in a Christian home. Most people need to know that just "praying" about it, will not fully help someone cope with such a thing."
Whoa! That's my mother in a nutshell. Recently my sister has suffered a series of unfortunate events; and all my mother can say is, "Pray about it; stay in God's word." My sister is suffering from depression, and "just praying about it" is not helping my sister. She is at the point of a "meltdown."

Then later that night, I was watching, "Futurama." In this episode, Bender is "lost in space," and while he travels aimlessly through galaxies he runs into God. This particular version of God is a fusion of a milky way, and a CPU. Bender asks God the tough question, and God responds: "When I do the right thing, no one pays attention. That's why it seems that I have left 'man' to figure life out for himself."

It's true. We rarely thank God for waking us up in morning; but when disaster strikes we are blaming him for all the mess. I do it...Habitually. When we have a safe trip to work, when our family makes it home in one piece, we don't even acknowledge him. Spooky. I learned a lesson from watching a cartoon.
3.) Cakes. Pies. Cakes, pies, chicken, and pieeessss...

3/13/06- I saw a sandwich vendor, at the gas station, stealing cakes and pies. It was an older man, which illustrates that he should know better. This is a 40-ish, white male stealing cakes and pies. He'll stock one sandwich in the freezer, and stuff a cupcake in his pocket. I watched him for about a minute, and I laughed and walked away. While walking I started singing:"Cakes. Pies. Cakes, pies, chicken, and pieeesss..."

mrj

Why you don' giv'me da pies?

2006-03-12T22:09:00.000-05:00

Spring break was a blast. I learned, I loved...I relished my week in Virginia (it's for lovers, ya know). Anywho, Terri D. will be posting pictures soon; and you can see how much you suckas missed out on!!! Ha, I'm so brutal. Anyway, our next big trip is Animazement 2006. I already got my ticket (and my costume) now all I need is my hustle-game. "The man who broke a dragon's heart" will be making it's debut at Animazement 06'. Come prepared; and by "prepared" I mean have money!

England

Terri Day is offended by Peanut Allergies!

2006-03-01T11:59:00.000-05:00

I know, I know. I haven't updated since 1982; but it has been a busy month.

I am so lazy that I am going to do a numeric point list of things I want to talk about in this blog entry.

1.) I saw Angela Davis give a lecturer last night. Whoa! One thing that stuck with me is the fact that she mentioned Coretta Scott King and her endeavors before she passed. King (near the latter years of her life) was a Gay/Lesbian Rights Activist; and fought to eradicate homophobia in the black community. While speaking at her funeral Bush decided to omit that part from his speech.

2.) I have cried every day during the month of February. Before then, I almost went a year without a tear. I feel like I've been PMS-ing for a whole month.

3.) Every Tuesday and Thursday a certain christian group comes to our college campus, and gives out bibles. They try and give me a bible everytime they are on campus. I have 15,220.05 Gideon bibles. The 1/2 comes from the one bible that my dog Delilah got a hold of...sorry Jesus.

4.) I absolutely love that I have auditions coming up (that means that I could possibly get more work); but I hate preparing for them. I have two this week, and another in two weeks. I haven't memorized "nan" monologues. Holla!

5.) I'm a bit apprehensive about the return of, "This is where the fish live..." I feel like we may slip back into old habits (if you know what I mean). Holla atcha boy.

mrj

Speak of the Devil.

2006-02-01T13:23:00.000-05:00

In the last post I mentioned a conversation I over heard between two frat boys. Well, now I'm sitting in the library beside two frat boys; and I'm listening to their conversation. Wow, one is vehemently trying to study but the other is talking about everything that a pretentious, ugly, rich, white male would talk about.

1.) "Yeah, dude...dude. Check out this girl...she's cute and all but she keeps blowin up my cell. She's hot; but I don't know. Her legs are a little fat; but she's really cute. Dude...dude; she's this really hot asian chick. I mean she's like Vietnamese or some shit.

2.) "Oh, dude...DUDE! Check out this website. It's the shit. I mean...yeah??" AT THIS MOMENT I'M GETTING FRUSTRATED...SO IS THE OTHER GUY.

...finally the annoying guy leaves. I could have spelled out the rest of the conversation for you; but I think you know what it was like.

Dude...DUDE...I gotta go!

mrj
-Oh, by the by, the annoying frat boy looks like Cujo took a bite out of his left cheek.

Couldn't think of anything clever to say; so I leave you with this...

2006-01-27T12:36:00.000-05:00

"It's my birthday tomorrow. No one here could know. I was born this Thursday...22 years ago." -Jon Foreman, Switchfoot.

I've beem waiting 22 years to say that. My birthday was last week AND it was on a Thursday!! I'm going to grace you with some of the best quotes I've heard in the new year.

1.) Joe Franklin raped me.

2.) Frat boy 1- I swear to God I'm not waiting out here all day.

Frat boy 2- I know; but Joey is on his way.

Frat boy 1- I swear if he doesn't get out here now I'm gonna rape him AND his mother!

3.) My mother- Men are always trying to be Heroes to Hoes!

That's all I could think of right now. I'm actually at work; but I figure this group of cocky s.o.b's can handle running thousands of dollars of audio/visual equipment themselves. These people are so rude. So I left'em hangin'. I really did!

mrj

This much I know is true.

2006-01-12T14:27:00.000-05:00

I saw the worst bumper sticker the other day; and now it is my mantra!

*AMERICAN BY CHANCE, SOUTHERN BY THE GRACE OF GOD!*Attached to the sticker was a rebel flag. If this isn't redneck...I don't know what is. I'm going around saying it to everyone I know. And we wonder why people have preconceived notions about the south that *above* is why.

I'm graduating in May. Woohoo, and my birthday is next week. Viente Dos! Umm, I'm getting tired of throwing my own birthday party, so I'm just gonna hang out with friends. I don't feel like doing anything. I have to figure out what to buy my twin sister...any ideas (Harley, no man sex...it's expensive!).

mrj

Happy Belated, Jesus!

2005-12-27T21:55:00.000-05:00

From: mR.j, Matches Malone, Harley Quinn, and Poison Ivy

Don't blame me...

2005-12-15T09:24:00.000-05:00

...for the hot-minute it has taken me to post something new. Blame UNC-Charlotte. Blame my professors for swamping me with work! Ah, the semester is almost over. I take my final exam tomorrow December 16th.

The reason I'm writing this blog is because 1.) It's so cold that it makes you hate life (so I'm already in a foul mood). 2.) I just came to a horrible realization!

Let's talk about 2!

Everyone knows that I'm an actress...of some sort. For a while I was receiving parts like hot cakes...that's because I'm a pretty decent actress (all modesty). Lately, I haven't even been getting calls for auditions. I tried auditioning with a company that I have done films with before, and they won't even offer me an audition. I realized it's because the powers that be didn't "have parts written for my body type." Yeah, they think I'm fat; but I'm a good actress...AND I FUCKING QUOTE!

"Oh, my God! You were the best audition we've had today. I'm just afraid that the directors won't find a part for you. You need to be in this movie. You scared the crap out of poor Jimmy here!"

-Linda Smith (a pseudonym), Casting director

It's happened before. I'm okay with my body; but other people are not. So, here comes the horrible realization...I need to create for myself. I need to start producing my own films. Now, I don't want to be one of those people who stars in everyone of my films; but I need work...and I'm not getting it. Also, I want my show back...so does a few more people...

AND I QUOTE: "Hey, aren't you [Ingrid and I] those girls from t.v.?? What happened? Where's the other one? I saw her at CPCC before, and I was like OMIGOD. Hey, they aren't playing your show anymore. I swear everytime I tune in I'm hooked! I swear it! Hey, Jenny? Have you ever seen their show before? [no] Really? Maybe you won't ever see it, they got cancelled."

ME-"Hey, we may be back in April. Keep you fingers crossed."
"Well, you need to be. I swear every Monday you had my attention!"

-Security Guard at the movies.

mR.j
-Oh, yeah...I have a new name!

So ordered by Gaeius Julius Caesar!

2005-11-21T14:16:00.000-05:00

Did you catch "Rome" last night? It was the season finale; and season two will not be out until 2007!!! Wow, it was an intense hour of television. If you missed it, then you missed it.

Right now I'm at school; and I'm sort of broken-hearted. I'm the type of person who tries to avoid romantic relationships; but recently I've been interested in this guy. We talked, laughed, shared a moment...and now it's as if he doesn't know me. You see, when I fall...I fall hard! That's why I avoid the situation all together. Such is life...

E

I wrote a letter to a friend...

2005-11-15T15:43:00.000-05:00

...and he acted as if he never knew me. It broke my heart; but I will easily get over it. I'm so numb to the situation that it scares me. I thought this fellow and I had some good times; despite the fact that his heart was broken by a mutual friend. I thought he was better than this...I guess not. It frightens me; my emotions...I am so apathetic when it comes to people "dissing" me. I really should fill the empty spot (in which they left in me) with something else; it shouldn't remain open. It has happened so frequently that it has made me indifferent; which has pissed me off...so I must not be as apathetic as I thought.

On a much lighter note....

E
-MR.F is no longer mine for the taking.

You're a mean one MR. F!

2005-11-08T13:09:00.000-05:00

Last night was a good night for television. I now have a new pseudonym...MR. F. I will no longer sign my posts as "E"...I am no longer a creature of habit.

MR. F

Make no mistake. (Insert band name here) will rock you flipping socks off!

2005-10-27T13:25:00.000-04:00

Have you seen our new pics? If not, then I advise you to go to locist.com, myspace.com, or call my cousin Rico (he has a few copies). We are still under the name "Pinch Interrogation." If you stick around, I'll try and figure out how to put them on my blog.

C.O.S.-I've seen 2 shows in the past week. Scapegoat CD release party and Emery! OMIGOD, Emery kicked my butt last night! They were amazing, and I spoke with them after the show. Hey, did you know that the warmest place on your body is your butt-crack? Wow, learn new things everyday.

E

Women and the media

2005-10-25T13:27:00.000-04:00

Hey, check out my new blog womenmedia.blogspot.com. There are nude pictures, and free money. No, it's for a class. If you love me, then leave a comment or suggestion.

With Love,
E to the ngland

Hey, hey. Bye, bye, bye, bye-bye.

2005-10-18T15:25:00.000-04:00

This has been happening very frequently. I've been saying random things. Really random things...

Today alone I have had a couple of WTF?!? moments:

1.) I want my baby back, baby back...

-7:30 a.m. getting out of bed

2.) While on campus I saw a GAH (grow-as-Hell) or GAM (grow-ass-man) riding a bicycle that clearly didn't belong to him...I say, "Wow, that bike's not his...it's Dakota's (referring to Terri's younger brother)."

- 9:30 a.m. while walking to my first class

3.) In the Heat of the night, I've got troubles wall-to-wall. *Belting* IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT...
- 12: 10 p.m. during my second class

4.) I had really bad gas and a sorority girl walked right into it (okay, that was Ingrid).
- 12:11 p.m. during my second class

5.) Calling Ingrid (my twin sister, for those of you who really do not know me) Narcy (Nar-ky), b/c I think she is narcoleptic.
- 12:15 p.m. during my second class

6.) Reagan Sleepy (okay, that was Ingrid)
-12:15:38 p.m. during my second class
(our Human Sex. Prof. must hate us; we sit on the front row)

Stealing my twin sister's life so that I seem incredibly cool? PRICELESS.

E

Banshee Cry 2005

2005-10-13T13:07:00.000-04:00

This was going to be the funniest post in the world, but I just got some terrible news. UNCC is NOT going to let me graduate. You wanna know how real I am? I'm sitting in a computer lab crying my fucking eyes out. My heart is hurting.

If I had my banshee cry then I would level this school. Ninjas or Pirates? Where's the fairness in that? Ninjas.

E

Oh, God don't let it be true!

2005-10-04T11:00:00.000-04:00

Guess what? I'm thinking about those old Radio Shack commercials with Terri Hatcher and Howie Long. Remember? They used to do a spoof of them on Mad TV (hilarious). Okay, I'm ashamed to admit this, but I think that...no, I'm pretty sure that I like SOME emo music. Not that sucky, "I slit my wrist to feel..." type emo, but the good emo (MCR, Emery, etc.). Its actually very taboo (in the rock scene) to enjoy emo.

Other topics of discussion(i.e. On My Mind):

1.) Ninjas are slicing the shit out of my insides.
2.) I want to be in the new Friday the 13th film (fingers crossed).
3.) I can't wait to have band practice on Saturday!
4.) We are taking pictures at band practice on Saturday (Terri and Heather wear something nice).
5.) I have glitter all over me...
6.) I can't wait to watch SVU tonight!!!
7.) I want UNCC to stop trying to prevent me from graduating.
8.) I want to have a job lined up when I graduate
9.) Some guys cell phone just scared me.
10.) I have a pocketful of miracles.

E

Thus we are slain: Homonuculus and such

2005-09-29T18:12:00.000-04:00

I want "Thus we are slain" to be our next band name. God, I'm in love with that quote. 3-4 pinched people agree with me. We are still waiting for the fourth vote.

Have you ever been so jealous of someone that you honestly wish bad things upon them? In my case...yes, and now I feel incredibly guilty. I actually do not know this person, but I wanted his/her romantic relationship to fail. I'm a bad person.

"...may she be raped by dogs..."

E
p.s.-On a happy note, the premiere of Heaven help me, I'm in love will be premiering at The Visulite Theatre in Charlotte, NC (Oct 7th). So everyone should come out! For more details, just post a comment saying, "I wanna come!"

Fish Live TV on hiatus

2005-09-22T10:45:00.000-04:00

The subject line says it all folks! Your favorite gals from the cult show, "This is where the fish live..." are taking a much needed break.

We may be back on the airwaves in January 06, but we are not certain. We need time to re-evaluate commitments and to reflect on the direction our show is going. If the fates have us return to your televisions, then it will be after a necessary "facelift," and re-vamped website.

In the meantime, we are still strong in our personal endeavours. I have two films coming out this fall: "Heaven help me, I'm in love " and "Serial!" Terri is busy in school, and she has been working feverishly on her writing. Ingrid is also busy in school, and she is headed to grad school. We are also working really hard on our music. Our main goal right now, as entertainers, is our music!

We love you guys!

Fish Live Crew,
Terri, Ingrid, England

The funniest story ever told...according to Ingrid Simpson.

2005-09-20T16:30:00.000-04:00

Finally, it's here! The funniest story ever told...blah, blah, blah.

*This story takes place on a Thursday morning 2 semesters ago in my Comm. Research Methods class.*

As I look around the classroom to pick out victims for a group project, I make a startling revelation. I was the only black person in the class. To top it off...I was the only fat person in the class, as well. I quickly ignore my thoughts and quietly ask the three closes people around me if they would like to join my group. They agree, and we began exploring ideas for our project. Since the project had to be a naturalistic observation (which means we observe people in public), we decided to keep our project simple and so we decided to conduct our research at the mall. One of my group mates has a smashing idea.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent*
Becky, Janet, and John

Becky-Maybe we should go to South Park mall and test customer service and appearance.

England-How would we do that? Would one of us volunteer to dress poorly, while the others dressed nicely?

John-Yeah, something like that; but we would need a control.

Janet-I could do it. I could dress up nicely, go to 5 stores...umm...wait for 30 minutes, and then dress homely and go to the same stores. Th--

Becky-Yeah, then one of us can record how each clerk treats you.

Janet-Ooh, to make it even better I will be willing to buy something when I'm homely. I should be homely first, just so when they are rude to me I would'nt have already bought something.

John-Ladies, these ideas sound great; but maybe we should go a little deeper. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Someone may not think that you look homely (whenever you are trying to dress homely).

England-I agree. Perception is key in an experiment like this. You may have a clerk who likes a rugged gal!

*Everyone laughs*

John-I got it! Maybe we could go along the same lines of appearance, but instead of the person looking homely they could be *thinks* "overweight."

Becky-Yeah, but how would we control that?

John-I dunno?

England-But then we'll have to find someone who is willing to look fat.

John-Maybe one of us could...be the participant who is overweight.

*Everyone slowly starts to stare at me*

England-(To Becky or Janet) Do any of you own really baggy clothes?

Becky and Janet-NO.

England-Wow, we would have to encorporate an outside person to be the fat person; b/c none of us can do it. I don't have baggy clothes either.

Janet-I think one of us could do it. No problem.

England-(Shaking head) But none of us are really fat, so it's not going to be convincing.

John-Well it's against rules to encorporate outside help

*Everyone is looking at me in disbelief*

England-Yeah, but we are not gonna convince anyone that we are fat. I mean, c'mon! None of us are big enough.

John-Wow, maybe I'll do it. I will play the "overweight" person. Ya know, being overweight isn't bad. I don't see anything wrong with it.

Becky and Janet-Yeah, I know a lot of beautiful overweight people.

England- I don't. But if you wanna pretend that you're fat then be my guest. I personally think that fat men are more accepted in our society.

Janet-So you think one of us girls should pretend to be fat?

England-NO, because we wouldn't be fooling anyone. We would have to find someone outside of the group that is fat. None of us [girls] would be able to pull it off. Whew! Maybe we should scrap the "overweight" idea.

Becky-(Bewildered) Maybe. Seeing that we can't find anyone????

...and so our group ended up going with the "homely look" experiment. THE END!

This is much funnier when told...

E

And I will bleed tears of scarlet...

2005-09-13T11:31:00.000-04:00

...that is a lyric from a Pinch Interrogation song; which, btw, if you type our name into a google search the first site that pops up is the site for our t.v. show. Recently, we (our band members) have been disagreeing on whether or not to change our name. If we do not come to a conclusion (possibly a name even better than "Pinch") then I would not want to change the name. Everyone agrees with this; and I just hope people aren't taking the disagreement personally (Heather and Terri)! If so, then we are damned as a group. People should never take constructive criticism to heart...or personally. If I did, then I would be severly depressed. Anywho, I really have to go to the bathroom! I can't believe I've held it this long.

E
p.s.-Check back tomorrow for the, "Funniest story ever told (according to Ingrid Simpson)!"

Close your eyes and think of England.

2005-08-30T11:30:00.000-04:00

You can thank my Human Sexuality professor for the title.

Hmm...so much has happened, where does one start? I lie. Nothing spectacular has happened in my life. I just feel like I should be working. No, not at my "reality" job; but my acting job. Whenever I'm not auditioning, or actually in a project I feel as if I'm not giving 200%. It's quite sad, actually. I have a couple of things premiering in September, and I'm in a project from September-???; but I still feel unaccomplished. I was also personally invited to audition for a project in Greensboro, but I can't drive. I feel as if I'm holding myself back (which I am). Maybe this will be the initiative I need to get my license; but I'll still be afraid of driving.

On another note: I gotta lose some pounds. I know this is gonna upset my "fans" who love me as a double-duty beauty; but I'm kinda tired of being fat. I'm as real as it gets, so I'm going to let you in on a secret. I weighed myself yesterday. Not on a digital scale; but a true-to-life "doctor's" scale. Wanna know how much I weigh? 235lbs. I know, I know. I've gained a little weight; but that's because Ingrid and I aren't able to do karate right now. We are so overwhelmed, that we decided to take a semester off...I miss the hell out of it. In December we will start training in Enshin Karate; at a dojo right near our house.

E

What the Hell?

2005-08-18T13:30:00.000-04:00

What's up with people starting to spam blogs now? Yeah, I just checked a couple of my friends blogs, and they all have post from spammers. I actually have a post from a spammer.

On a lighter note.

dravenskye.tripod.com ~~For some good readin'
http://www.cafepress.com/Marlewen, http://www.cafepress.com/KudzuMonkey, http://www.spreadshirt.com/shop.php?sid=4636, ~~For some cool t-shirts, and www.myspace.com/fishlivetv, For some quality entertainment!

E

England- "With whip in one hand, and the handcuffs in the other...I demanded his attention!"

2005-08-11T12:05:00.000-04:00

I have no idea what the title of that meant, but I did play a dominatrix in my most recent project. It's called, Heaven help me, I'm in love, and I play Candace...a dominatrix. I was in nice lingerie (seeing that I couldn't find a corset that fit me), and my character beats the crap out of this guy named Butch. I had a lot of fun doing it, and I look forward to the finished product.

**C.O.S.**-In most recent news, This is where the fish live will be showing new episodes this week. I have been getting a lot of complaints about our re-runs. Quit your squabbling...were gonna get back on track.

E
p.s.-Hey Terri! I'm wearing my civil war kepi right now!

Sometimes...

2005-08-03T15:30:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I like to look at people with my eyes "bugged" out! When they turn around (because they feel someone burning a hole through their soul) I pretend to be sleeping.

E

Cat Scratch Fever

2005-07-26T10:18:00.000-04:00

Wow, I'm pretty sure that I've never heard that song before, but for some reason it's in my head. It goes like this:

*cue 80's guitar solo* Cat! Scratch! Fe-va! Oooooh....Cat! Scratch! Fe-va! Oh yeah......

E

2005-07-21T21:50:00.000-04:00

Congratulations to my dear friend Ketul Patel! He just got accepted to Pharmacy school in the beautiful islands of Ca...I don't know how to spell it, but congrats!

Seeing that my friend is leaving in January now would be a good time to rant...

"Listen bitches! I don't feel like making new friends, so bring your asses back to Charlotte."

Let's draw up a list, and check to see which friend is where:

Terri-Winston-Salem (2 1/2 more years)
Cassie-East Carolina (??? more years)
Ketul-Somewhere in the middle of the fucking ocean (4 years)
LoVonia-Georgia (1 more year)

...that's all I could think of right now; but nonetheless that is almost all of my closes friends. It took me years to build up on all of my relationships, I don't have the energy to make new friends.

Sadly yours,
E

Our Children shall be bathed in his sweet tea...

2005-07-12T09:30:00.000-04:00

There I go again, with the "..." Anywho, a lot has happened since I was "the last negro in Lawndale." I became the "only negro in Rutherfordton, NC." Yeah, I was finally excited because I thought that I had finally finished the project I was working on...negative! Our director added additional scenes that were once cut out. So now I have to travel back to "wherever..." to start shooting again. I miss my free time. I also miss my friends. Working is tearing our friendships apart.

Good news...WE GOT A CAR!!!!!!!!!!! It's a 2005 Toyota Corolla, in phantom gray! It's purdy, and I haven't been able to take it for a spin yet. I am so swamped with work...

Oh, lest not forget my ambigious title for this entry. I was at IHOP the other night with my family, and we all ordered sweet tea with our meals. As our waitress (a girl I know from school who gave us all free grits) sat our drinks down, we simultaneously all take sips of our tea. We all get quiet, and our waitress engages our reactions. It was the best tea I've ever tasted.

*We all gasp

England: "Who made this tea?"

Waitress: "One of the servers in the back, it's sort of like his specialty."

Momma: "Omigod, he knows what he's doing."

Waitress: "He always appreciates great comments when concerning his baby (the tea)!"

*Waitress leaves*

Ingrid: "We need to find this guy and take him home with us."

England: "I shall bear his children, and we shall all bathe in sweet tea..."

*Table gets quiet, because of the off-the-cuff comment just made*

E

The last negro in Lawndale

2005-06-22T19:49:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I just finished shooting my death scene for "Serial." We shot it in an old, abandoned textile mill in Lawndale, NC. I was the only negro there; which posed as a very uncomfortable situation. Lawndale, NC is a town that is a few miles pass Shelby, NC; it only has a population of about 500, and most of the population IS NOT of African descent. So when we (my family and I) were driving around we asked a group of people if we were in the right place. They had a "lynching" air about them, and they were rude...

*Male, Caucasian, deep country accent*

"Well, dey shootin' a movie her...but..."

By the time he got to "but" my mom drove away; I wasn't about to get out of the car with Junior KKK's swimming around the place. I wait...and I actually arrive late to my call time; but I didn't care.

I took great pics of my scene. I tried to scan some of them (so that I could share them with you), but then my scanner started acting like a straight bitch.

E

So, you're actually willing to die over cherry pie?

2005-06-09T21:28:00.000-04:00

Guess what? My car died. Yep! Right in the middle of one of the busiest intersections in Charlotte. So, this weekend we look for a new car! I personally want a Toyota (so does Ingrid); but our purses are saying...Suzuki.

Oh, Saturday (June 11th) is my sister's birthday. Happy 20th India Simpson!!!!!

*New Subject* I know you're trying to figure out what the title of this post means...I can't tell you; I would have to kill you.

E

What do you get when you cross a: A Cow, Financial Aid Bullshit, and Ketul Patel?

2005-05-16T16:41:00.000-04:00

My friggin' day! Ha! I had only a few errands to run...only a few; but then bam...! It hits me like a bag of nickels. My stomach hurts...and Ketul claims that he doesn't watch porn; but I know that he has seen at least one.

E

Oh, I remember...

2005-05-09T12:11:00.000-04:00

I remembered one of the things I wanted to share with you. I went to the Pride Festival on Saturday, and I had a blast. The protestors were hilarious; they made the whole event funnier than need be. Ingrid (my partner in crime) bought a button that states, "A village in Texas has lost it's idiot!" It followed the statement with a picture of Bush below it!

Oh, yes...shit! I forgot the other things

Details to come; I'm sure!

E

...I had all of this exciting stuff to share

2005-05-09T11:58:00.000-04:00

...and then I forgot it. So...I'm supposed to be taking an online exam right now, but my slacker partner isn't here yet. That's why she is about to fail the easiest class in the history of all slacker courses. I'm talking about our American Idol class! We were featured on CNN the other day, and I just bumped into my professor and he was telling me about it. Needless to say...that camera loved me! No, he told me that the camera man got two close-ups of me. Then, he said something that made the tension thick in the air.

Professor: "What can you expect? You are the most gorgeous student in the class!"
*Quietness*
England: "Well, you know...I do what I do..."
England: "Alright, gotta go!"

Oh, and you know what? No, I actually want you to guess Terri! Okay...

I was in the post office today turning in my NYC episode, and the woman noticed that my last name was SIMPSON.

Woman: "Omigod, sweetie...are you from Charlotte."
England: "Born and breed!"
(That's always my answer when someone asks if I'm a Charlotte native)
Woman: "Because maybe you are related to my niece!"
England: "It's possible..."
Woman: "Because her grandfather (Simpson) just died and she was going to come into some money, but then the government....
(This goes on for about 20 minutes (seriously))
England: "Alright, gotta go!"
("Alright, gotta go!" Is my escape route for difficult situations)

Alright, gotta go!

E

Bailing Terri Day out of jail

2005-04-27T15:33:00.000-04:00

Kevin Fraizer, a reporter for Entertainment Tonight, was talking about the upcoming movie, "Crash." Brendan Fraser, along with an ensemble cast, will star in the movie. Kevin Fraizer spoke of a scene where Jennifer Esposito and Don Cheadle get bucked-naked and do the nasty. While reading off the names of the rest of the cast (seeing that Fraizer was interviewing Esposito and Cheadle) he says Brendan's name as follows: Brandon Fraizer.

Insanity Ensued:

Ingrid: Omigod! If you're going to be a reporter, at least get someone's name right!

England: I know! Wow, I think that is one of the rudest things. It's just one mistake; he'll probably correct himself.

**HE DIDN'T...

Ingrid (or England...I forget): Terri'll probably slit his throat, right after making him correct his mistake.

England: Yeah, we'll probably be the one's bailing her out of jail! Nunchucks and all!! Ha, Ha, Ha

Ingrid: I'm gonna go get some cake now!

England: Ooh, bring me a piece.

Ingrid: Hell no! When I asked you to go get me a piece you didn't. That's how I know you wouldn't do it for me!

England: Yes I would! I gave you a Debbie Cake last night. Those were my devil squares and I shared. What about that doughnut stick I asked for?

Ingrid: Only six came in the box, and before we got home I had already eaten 3! Remember the song I made up about it?

England: Yes, but I replaced your name with mine. Remember? So I was asking for the three remaining sticks. I know it was a joke, but I was willing to trade.

Ingrid: I would've traded if I didn't only have one left.

England: Let me get this straight. You had six doughnut sticks, plus the pack of devil squares I gave you for free? Fatty!

**Ingrid and England laughs**

Ingrid leaves to get that piece of cake. England sits and waits patiently for her to return. Ingrid returns; but with only one piece of cake...for herself!

E

Goo Goo Gai Pan: You wouldn't believe it if it happened to you.

2005-04-20T21:45:00.000-04:00

The most peculiar things have been happening to me this week. One of the most peculiar is an episode of "The Simpson's," that I saw Sunday.

Synopsis:
Goo Goo Gai Pan (NEW) - Selma finds out that she is going through menopause, so she decides to adopt a Chinese baby. She discovers that single women are not allowed to adopt Chinese babies, so she decides to pretend that she's married to Homer.

During this episode Homer, Selma, Marge, and the kids are flying on a plane to China. Marge and Selma slips something into Homer's drink (so that his is prepared for the shock of finding out that he has to pretend to be married to Selma). The most peculiar scene happens after that.

*************************************************************************************
Plane is in mid-air and Homer looks out of the window to find a silver dragon staring at him.

Dragon (in a Michael Jackson type voice): Homer, give me your peanuts and I'll let you ride on my back!

Homer: Hell no! Get your own

The dragon flies away and then is met up by two other dragons.

Dragon Two: So, is this the man who will give you his peanuts?

Dragon One: He said no...that is the man who broke my heart.

The dragons begin to cry rainbow tears. Dragon two obtains an Asian instrument, and all of the dragons begin to sing: "The man who broke a dragon's heart..."

Here's a picture: http://www.duffzone.co.uk/framegrab_script.php?img=gabf06/gabf06-071.jpg

Isn't that peculiar? What's even more crazy is that they appear at the end of the episode as well; it was a hilarious episode.

************************************************************************************
Another peculiar occurence. In a class with 35 students only 5 students showed up today. My professor cancelled class because he was too depressed to teach only 5 pupils. ???

Oh, and a strange thing that happened to my sister. She is hoofing it to class and a girl stops her and tells her that she secretly watches my sister and I (almost everyday). She then goes on to admit to my sister that she also admires everything about us. For the next 20 minutes she tells my sister her life story, and then she tells her that she is homophobic. ???

************************************************************************************

I am wearing glitter on my chest today. A friend of mine, who is from another country, tells me that she admires my chest (my breasticles) and that they look great with glitter on them. ???

A classmate comes to me upset (in my 10'oclock Persuasion class) and tells me that he has just called off the engagement of him and his fianceé. He is distraught and I talk with him for a while. The only way I know this guy is from the one class I have with him. I just learned his name two weeks ago. ???

A guy is staring down my shirt right as we speak. ???

My sister finds an old, old folder with a picture of Brendan Fraser on it. Under his picture it is captioned: Hot!, or Sexy!, or husband. The folder is dated, 1997-1998 (BEFORE WE KNEW TERRI)! ???

Wow, what a crazy week. Something else happened, but I forgot. Next weekend we are beginning our process of getting a new car. Something snapped inside of my sister, and now she hates our car more than ever. ???

E

That's It!

2005-04-20T15:10:00.000-04:00

Wow, two journal entries in a day! You know I must either be waiting on my 6:30pm ride, or I'm on a tangent and I need to vent...it's both.

1.) I'm kind of finished with juvenile males. I'm definitely finished with watching an immature male avoid eye contact with me, b/c he knows that we both have feelings for each other. Ladies and Gentlemen he is a slider. Now, granted, I did this before but at least I caught myself. He's been doing this for about half a year now. I'm also tired of talking about it! It makes me feel prepubescent and self-conscious.

2.) I'm tired of the white devil. This goes along with the whole male thing. Some random-ass dude starts talking to my sister and I. We build an acquaintance type relationship, and now he feels that he is comfortable enough with us to express some of his feelings. His goal in life (I swear to all that is good and holy) is to date a white girl. I ask what is wrong with women in his own race (black females), his response, "They're too much; and they expect more from you. Plus, I prefer the looks of white girls over black girls." Oh, but he claims he's not racist. He'll date other races...but his own. Why would you express that worldview with two black females? The "white girl pandemic" is pervasive throughout all cultures. I'm sure of it. Just the other day I saw men of different cultures (blacks, whites, Asians, and Indians) oogling at the unusually rotund booty of a white female. I watched as they made comments like: "Wow, I wonder what it would be like to ride that thing!" I plan on writing a song about this (the white devil situation as a whole).

3.) I'm tired of one of my classmates complaining about her job. She works with a news company in Charlotte, as a field reporter. A job that most college grads probably couldn't get. Today she had to interview Green Day. She complained about how the traffic would be, and shit like that.
She just got a job offer for the t.v. show: Hannity & Colmes in NYC; she is complaining about the conservative slant of the show (which I would as well); but nonetheless, that's work!

4.) I'm tired of professors making it a necessity to pile on work before the end of the semester. I have a busy week (next week) and I'm about to lose my mind. Because of all this work I have neglected things such as: my personal health, my t.v. show, learning my script, and my friends.

5.) I'm tired of seeming like a complainer. Blogger is a tool for me. I use it, only sometimes, to vent. I'm not a high self-monitor, but when it comes to "this," then I do become a little self-conscious.

6.) I'm ready to graduate. All of the graduating seniors are rubbing it in. When it's my time to march (in December) I'm not going to announce it in all of my classes (like some are doing now). I'n not going to wear my cap to my 10'oclock class, and I'm definitely not going to engage in class discussion as to which tassel I should wear: The burgandy (which reps. my major), or the green and white (which reps. my school)!

Alrighty, thanks for being such a good listener!

E

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit: Whom ever took my F****** umbrella will have hell to pay!

2005-04-14T00:02:00.000-04:00

A good friend of mine told me that if the first thing you say when you wake up in the morning is, "Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit" then you'll have a great day. If this is the first thing you say in a new year, then you'll have a great year. On January 1st, 2005 at 12:00 a.m. is said Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit. Today the first thing I said was, Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit; I've had a sub par day.

1.) Today was supposed to be a good day; despite the fact that I had two test. Today started off with a thud; literally. As I was walking out of my car my knee gave out. I felt an excruciating pain go through my right knee. All day I've been walking around with a limp; and today is one of the longest days I have to spend at school (10 hours!!!), so I have been limping in front of people for...9hrs 2minutes.

2.) It has been raining and cold all day. I left my jacket at home so I've been walking around, in the freezing cold, with a limp. I had a cup of coffee in my hand, as I was walking to my Media Law class, and a bum dropped a quarter in it. Anyway, so when I get to my American Idol class I was a little apprehensive; I had volunteered to sing a song in front of my class (104 people). I did a good job, and got 50 extra credit points. As I'm walking out of my class I realize that I had left my umbrella. I limp back to my seat and realize that one of my classmates had taken my umbrella. It will be raining again this week. If I see you walk into class with my umbrella, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you (word is bond)! That is sort of a "duh" moment for me. I know you are in my 12pm class, and I know how my umbrella looks. Here's an equation for the smart dote who stole my umbrella: You + my umbrella + An angry black girl observing everyone who walks into class when it rains tomorrow = blood in your eye.

3.) Like I mention previously I had two test today. I bombed the first one; but with aspirations for the second one. I shat on the second one. Damn, I don't feel like failing today!

4.) I have a research project due tomorrow; along with a 15 minute presentation (two different classes). It has been hell preparing for all of this work.

5.) I had diarrhea, (watery feces) and I went to my secret bathroom in the library (just like my secret garden). I plop, then flush, and when I reach for the tissue I am astonished to see nothing but a memory of the tissue that used to grace the roll. I panic. I then decide to limp to the other stall, ass-out. I made it! No one saw me...but there is no tissue. I panic...again. Ass-out I hobble to the paper towel dispenser...no motherfucking paper towels! I cry; but then I see a brown roll sitting beside the sink (mind you this is happening with my ass-out). I grab the diminutive roll of paper towel and I slide back into my stall. By the time I wash my hands and leave my secret bathroom I feel as if everyone knows my secret. People look up as I totter down the hallway; maybe it was because of the limp...I dunno. All I know is that everyone was staring at me...hard!

6.) Upside to my downside. I saw the latest chapter of Ninjai. It was awesome, it has turned me on to other short animations and short films. Atomfilms is a great site for someone who wants to be entertained, but has only 5-15 minutes before their next class. I also saw a great site that is a "work in progress." The site for the film I'll be in, called Serial is up, but it's not complete. Wow, I can't wait for the final product.

E

Drama at Dover St.

2005-04-11T18:40:00.000-04:00

For any and all who know me, then you know that I am currently shooting a feature-length "B-movie," in Shelby, NC. Well, as you should know, I have family that live in Shelby, NC. This weekend I had to spend the weekend with my family (b/c I opted NOT to stay in the hotel the film studio offered me); and it was pandemonium 2005. My uncle (who "was" a substance abuser) was missing for two days, and left my elderly grandmother all alone. My aunt, who got a new puppy, left the puppy tied to a tree; not mentioning to anyone that she had a dog. The drug dealer that lives across the street from my grandmother's home was beating his "crack-whores" in the middle of the street...with a belt and his Sunday shoes. Alas, to top this all off, I lost my voice during a table reading. My director told me to practice my screaming (seeing that its a horror flick, and I will be dying a horrible death (I'll take good pictures)) and I lost my voice. I now I have a raspy voice, and a smokers cough. It's irritating the hell out of me.

I also got a little self-conscious about my weight (which usually doesn't bother me). They were taking measurements for the costumes. Listen, when they see the sizes 18/20, or 541/2 in. (42 DDD) the wardrobe people will get nervous. So I asked, "Since I'm playing a high school student, let me wear some of my own clothes. Pre-approved of course..." the director bit. But I have to wear what ever wardrobe gives me when I die, b/c the clothes will be shredded and special effects makeup will be all over them. I agreed. I know the skinny, white, blonde women of the wardrobe department are gonna get nervous and put me in a yellow t-shirt that says, "Plant your dreams and your gardens will grow."
I'll probably have a matching pair of over-sized capri pants to go right along with it.

E

Forgetting about Terri: Parts 2 & 3

2005-04-04T21:45:00.000-04:00

**Disclaimer: Some names and locations have been changed to protect the identity of some people. Also, there maybe some spoilers for the new, awesome-as-hell movie "Sin City."

Okay, so pretty much Terri is gunning for me. I'm talkin' death threats from Orlando; but does that bother me...no. As long as I see hot sex, I can not contain myself. Well this weekend was no exception. I saw hot sex that Terri has claimed her own, and I had to forget about my friend for a while, but then I remembered her, but then I forgot about her again.

Jet Li, I thought was a community, type of husband to the three of us (Ingrid, Terri, and I), but no! Terri has claimed him, but I'm sorry! Yesterday, my sister and I went to see "Sin City," and before the movie played we watched a trailor for "Unleashed," starring Jet Li. My sister leans over to me and says, "Forgetting about Terri: Part Two." We laugh and speak of the things that we would do to the limber, yet humble Mr. Li. We even mention going to Winston-Salem and stealing a poster (of Jet-Li, that we bought for her) and putting it in our room. Then we leave it alone, because the movie starts. We forget, only for a brief moment that Terri's husband, Elijah Wood was in the movie. Oh, he was in the movie, and he was looking hooottt! Here's were the spoiler comes in, he was playing a cannibal with impeccable fighting skills. I'm talking this hotness was jumping off of things and kicking some major ass. I candidly tell me sister, "Wow, Terri's man is making me wet with all of these kung-fu moves," and she replies "Omigod, I know! Don't ever beat the shit out of someone with a pair of chuck's on." Even when the movie got graphic (Elijah nawing on some dead hooker) he was still looking scrum-yum. Then I started to remember my friend, because we saw a poster for the upcoming movie, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," and we thought about how excited Terri must feel to see her favorite book come to the big screen. Then I said, "Ingrid, remember how good Elijah was looking as he was slicing and dicing people? That's how Terri's gonna slice and dice us when she gets back from Florida." But hey, you win some and you loose some. Out of all this, I saw one of the best movies EVER!

Oh, and don't let me forget (this forgetfulness is becoming me). This is the part where I protect names and locations (so that Terri won't kick this poor girls ass). I was at school, and I'm eating lunch with a friend of mine, and my sister. So we are eating and we mention my "Forgetting about Terri" journals. She laughs and says, "Yeah, Elijah Wood was hot when I was 14. That's why so many middle schoolers love him, or should I say Frodo." Ingrid and I quickly defend Elijah; "Well Becky you haven't seen him lately. He was looking scrum-yum in "Sin City," also along with the fact that he has always looked good." Becky slovenly shrugs her shoulders and we quickly begin to engage the topic further. "Well Becky who do you like?"

And here is Becky's list:
Brad Pitt
Matt Damon
Johnny Depp (when he's not crazy (her words not mine))
Ashton Kutcher...

I then figure out that she doesn't have an exotic taste in men. So I say, "Sweetie, you don't like many cultured men" I name a few and then I come across the name of Arnold Vosloo.

Becky: Who is Arnold Vosloo?
Me: The Mummy from The Mummy movies.
Becky: Omigod, I've boycotted those movies!
Me: Why?
Becky: Because of Brendan Fraser...egh!
Ingrid and Me: What?!?
Becky: I can't stand him.
Becky: If he's in a movie I can't bring myself to see it.
Ingrid: If my friend Terri were here right now she would murder you in cold blood.
Ingrid: You talked about Elijah, and now you are talking about her number one man Brendan...she would kill you.

So you see. I remember my friend when it's time to roll deep.

E

Forgetting about Terri: A journal entry by England Simpson

2005-03-29T13:20:00.000-05:00

*Disclaimer-Terri, I know that you're going to read this, so if it's a fight you want...then you'll get yo ass whooped!

So, while writhing in pain (b/c of Strep Throat) I decided to watch a little t.v. As I started the mundane task of flipping through channels something caught my eye. I saw a very rotund booty that immediately made me leave it on a certain channel. Come to find out, it was the booty of Brendan Fraser, Terri's husband. I then realized that I was watching the underrated movie, "The Mummy Returns." Now, it was right near the beginning of the film, so my sister and I sat back and watched. We kept making off-the-cuff comments about Brendan's appearance. Then my sister states, "You know, if Terri heard us talking about her man she would cut the Hell out of us!" I then said, "I'm sorry, but I'm forgetting that I even have a friend named Terri. Look at that man's lips!" So thus became the easy task of "forgetting about Terri." Ingrid (my sister) and I even made a game of it. Although it was easy to forget about Terri while watching Brendan, it was more daunting to think of her reaction. So we made a game of what Terri would do if she saw us messing around with Brendan. I even took her fantasy (Cream Savers Pudding) and replaced Terri with myself. That would have certainly granted me a slow and painful death. It was a fun game, it took my mind off my pain. BTW, do not ever, ever work with children. My job has caused me to catch the flu 3 times this season, plus Strep Throat (I'm talkin' blood in my friggin' mucus)!

E

I cut apples like Rachel Ray!

2005-03-16T16:20:00.000-05:00

I will get to the meaning of the title in a minute.

First, I need to tell of the amazing time we had on our road trip to Virginia. It was fun! We watched movies, made a movie, and played spades (which I've come to love). We were able to relax and watch soft-core porn all night. There were no pressures to get up and do anything, because we were free; and it felt good. The worst part of the trip was waking up our last day and coming to the realization that we had to work later that day. I never made it to work, and my boss didn't freak out about it. Instead we stopped in Archdale, NC and made a few canine, feline, and reptilian friends. I didn't let my crew know this (which they will find out once they read this), but I was freaking out a little in the reptile store. I had a funny feeling that one of the snakes had gotten out, and was climbing in my hair.

So that's our trip, in a nutshell, hopefully this post let's you in on all the fun we had.

Now back to the title of this post, "I cut apples like Rachel Ray!"

I work at a pre-school center, and during their snack time I sometimes have to cut up apples, oranges, bananas, any fruit for that matter. Yesterday they had green apples and animal cookies. While I was cutting the apples I had one of my darling little angels (Shyane) staring holes through me. I stopped cutting and asked, "What in the Hell are you looking at (sometimes it's okay to curse at 2-year-olds (j/k I didn't curse at her))?" She tells me, "I like the way you cut the apples."

I realized that I was cutting the apples like Rachel Ray, Food Network hostess of "30 minute meals." She uses a technique that makes it easier to get rid of the seeds, and it makes the slices look better. I was doing this unconsciously; I wasn't trying to make it look appealing to my bratty kids. This just shows that you can learn valuable things by watching the boob-tube.

E

Meat

2005-02-28T11:25:00.000-05:00

My friends and I have very many inside jokes dealing with the subject of meat. As I was lying in bed waves of nostalgia overcame me. I decided to compile a list of our inside jokes containing the word...or subject of meat.

So here goes:

-You can't catch me I'm a steak!

-Meat Shield

-I make my meats!

-Yay, Mr. Hero!

-How 'bout I gouge out yo' muthaf***** eyeballs~Meatwad

-Meatwad-"I got parents?"
-Frylock-"Hell no you aint' got no parents!"

-A meat salad/meat roll salad

-Meaty Cheesy

That's all I can think of. Hey, if you come up with more then post back.

E

Pervasive.

2005-02-23T12:03:00.000-05:00

Why are you questioning anything? Why are you surprised by this? It's pervasive. Sweetheart, I'm sorry.

Omigod, I feel like my insides are bleeding with confusion. My head is swimming with the knowledge of another world, and I can't control his thoughts. I can't continue to hold my tounge, and I'm being penalized for it.

***************************************************************************************

Have you ever felt as if no one full understood you? You reach out for assistance only to have stuttering bullshit surface. I'm sorry for my contemplative mood, and I apologize for my melancholy thoughts.

E

I'll use my super-magnified psychic ability to get us out of this sticky situation!

2005-02-17T12:25:00.000-05:00

I would have used an ellipsis in the title, but my good friend, old friend, new friend Terri showed me the errors of my ways. Anyway, guess what? Don't say what and not really mean it! I want you to friggin' think about it.

Okay, okay I'll tell you. I've just proved that I'm a psychic...again. I told myself that at the beginning of the week two of my professors would cancel class. I was right. Media Law cancelled on Monday, and today Communication Research Methods was cancelled. Before I even opened the email telling me of my fate I knew that my professor sent it to inform us that she was cancelling class. Wow! am I right or what? So now I'm on a computer surfing the web. Ooh, guess what? I don't expect you to actually stew on this one; but I love this band called "The Mars Volta," now I loved them when they were "At the Drive in" but that band split into two bands. Mars Volta and (?). Mars Volta got the lead singer, and they lucked out! Right now I'm listening to "The Widow," a very dramatic song. And as everyone knows...I love ellipsis and dramatic music!

I'm also lucking out, because as everyone knows I am the promotions manager for Technonomicon 2005, and today I am going to check out a few possibilities @ Amos's Southend.

Yey, for music!

E

Made in May

2005-02-11T11:40:00.000-05:00

I work part-time at a pre-school center. When the children are asleep I come up with off-the-wall things to entertain myself with. Yesterday, in the throws of boredom, I started going through all of my children's files, just to see the progress they were making in learning the letter "P." Attached to their files are their dates-of-birth. I began noticing a trend with my little three-year-olds, alot of them seemed to be born during fall or winter. So then I came up with my "theory of conception."

The Theory States: Most mating takes place during warm weathered months, or months of celebration.

This is how I went about proving my hypothesis. I pulled out a chart that had all of the months posted in a horizontal fashion (actually my chart was a poster with ralphie the birthday rat on it).

January February March April May
June July August September
October November December

And I began to count backwards from the month of their birth. Taking in mind that some children could've been premature, or born late.

I realized that I was made in May (which didn't prove my theory), but my sister Paris was conceived in April (the month of my mother's birthday).**

**Remember: Take in mind the fact that some children are premature; Paris happened to be 3 months premature (she was supposed to be born in January). My sister and I were 1 month (exactly) premature...we were supposed to be born in February.

Now, I know my beloved friends are reading this and thinking, "wow, this girl has too much time on her hands." But I also know that you are trying to figure your "made in" date out.

I did it for you!

Terri- Made in July
Heather-Made in November
India- Made in August/September (she was two weeks late, and my dad's b-day is in the last week of August)
Cassie- Made in July
Jennifer- Made in September

When I figured my children's "made in" date out, I tried to prove my theory. I actually had enough balls to ask their parents when their birthday's were. 10 out of 12 parents supported my theory!

England

...and my feelings shall be laid to waste...

2005-02-08T12:20:00.000-05:00

I have no idea what the title to this entry means; but does it not sound mysterious and cool?

Okay, so here's my real reason for engaging your attention:

1.) I should be studying for a test that I have to take in an hour.

2.) Whenever I surf the net I constantly become depressed at the lack of progress my career (in entertainment) is making.

3.) I haven't posted in a while.

4.) Because of #2 I feel as though I must rant.
*************************************************************************************
I just watched an episode of "The Logan Show", a christian comedy show (which I auditioned for) and it made me mad. How in the Hell did this kid get his own television show? He has all of this talent at his disposal (I'm talkin' top-selling christian artist); which I highly doubt he had to work hard at obtaining. Now, don't get me wrong! It's a cute show, but...C'MON! I need a break in this crazy world too. Anywho, last night I was watching another show that was on the same television station (Public Access) that our show comes on. This show has professional graphics, a full crew, sponsors, live music, celebrity "shout-outs," and celebrity guest. We are on the same station, same night; but they have better resources. HOW?

How are all of these entrepreneurs getting the "hook-up?" Where is my complementary breakfast in the morning?

I'm gonna go before this gets too weird.

E

There can only be one...

2005-01-24T16:35:00.000-05:00

I'm like Duncan McCloud...you know, the dude from "Highlander." In the end there can only be one immortal; there can only be one highlander. That's just how it is. Well, there can only be one England. I have yet to meet another person named England...until today. My professor (for Comm. Persuasion) was checking the attendance sheet. When she called my name she said, "England?" I always assume that it's me, because I am the only England. Then she said, "Wait...England...Simpson?" I paused, and I asked her, "Why did YOU pause, am I not the only England?" She response, "Actually I have another England in the class before this one."

My heart stopped. WHAT? WHO? Who stole my name; and why is she also a Comm. major like me? I had to know who this girl was. So I went through the university's website to find her.**
**Side note: You can find the address, telephone #, major, and full name of any student, professor, or faculty as long as you have internet access...spooky!

Come to find out her last name is England; her first name is Brittany. Wow! I felt a pressure lift off of my shoulder. I am such a stalker, this should be very unnerving to some of you.

E
p.s.-Check out my girl Cassie @ http://www.livejournal.com/users/macieecu/

...In the words of Stephanie Tanner, "How Rude!"

2005-01-21T12:15:00.000-05:00

It has been a very long time! I miss you, I miss us. I've actually have posted on my blog since the last time it says I have. Blogger has erased 3 posts of mine, so I boycotted until they fixed the problem. Mission Accomplished. I'm comin' back at ya! Wow, I am fishing for stuff to say. Anywho, if you go on my friend's site, then you'll hear a compelling story of a man who tried to tear down three innocent black girls .

...so? What's new? Well, I'll tell ya! My birthday was this week! I turned 21. I am celebrating this by going to Winston-Salem to visit my friend. Before I go my mom wants us to get our car checked. These people are going to tell us stuff we already know. For example, my "check engine" light has been on for 4 months; our car leaks oil, and he stalls when he feels like it. We are about to get it traded in. My dad just has to hand my sister and I the necessary paper work to do so.

Also, we are celebrating our birthday (my twin sister and I) by going to dinner with my family. We are going to a Japanese sushi bar! Yey! Ingrid and I picked the place, it would have been BBQ, but...NO! We are also celebrating by having a party next week. BYOB, because I will not be a mule for my friends (seeing that are the first to hit 21).

Oh, and as far as "This is where the fish live..." we are taping our first pilot (for NYC) next week! They can't wait to get our stuff; I'll hate it when they realize that we suck. Anywho, since Ti-Ti won't be there we have to add clips of her that we will tape when we visit Winston-Salem.

Okay, that is it. I am spent...enough blogging for me.

England

You cannot feed a cat Pinto Beans...

2005-01-10T09:28:00.000-05:00

It has been a ridiculous amount of time since I've posted anything into my blog. I'm sorry that I have been so lazy. Once I got that break from school I ran with it. So...hmm...I must catch you up with all things England.

Let's see...
Christmas=fabulous (wow that's really lazy of me). I had a fantabulous Christmas! New clothes, shoes, DVD's, jewelry, etc. I had a very bountiful Christmas.

My Birthday=coming up next week. It's official I will finally be 21 on the 19th. My sister and I are planning a party; but you know how those Simpsons' are; starting something and never finishing it.

My Show=Going strong. We will be broadcasting in NYC in March!

My Acting=Getting more auditions! Just finished getting new resumés and headshots printed. I have a few auditions this month!

Okay, I gotta go! I'll tell the tale of the Cats and the Pinto Beans later.

E

I'm a little bit country. I'm a little bit rock n' roll...

2004-12-08T13:20:00.000-05:00

...Donnie...Marie

I'M A LITTLE BIT PSYCHIC!

It's true. I was in class today and I was looking over at this hot, hot Japanese guy. I was thinking about how much we have in common. I own a t-shirt that only true anime fans would know about and he told me about it. That's not where my psychic prowess came into play... Anyway, I was listening to the dialogue in class and all of a sudden I had a daydream that made me giggle like a school girl. I imagined that "Billy" would walk up to me at the end of class and ask if he could call me sometime.

I quickly released the thought from my head because I imagined that he was the type of guy that only liked Asian girls or skinny white girls.

*Sidebar* I went to dinner with a couple of my friends last night and we were discussing why guys only liked skinny white gals. One of my friends ( a male) said that it was the norm. We listed off a group of girls and he mentioned that he would date them only for sexual pleasure, but most girls that attracts him personality wise were girls that aren't thin and blonde. He also mentioned that a lot of white males are attracted to black females; but that they are also intimidated by us.

With that conversation in mind I thought my juvenile dream to be...well... juvenile.

So it's the end of class and as I'm walking out "Billy" lightly touches my elbow and asks if he could call me sometime. Just as I imagined it. I said sure and gave him my number.

Now, in true experimentation form I couldn't just go based on the one incident that I was psychic. So referred back to a horrible time in my life. A few months ago I was in a really bad car wreck. I totaled my sisters car. A man ran a stop sign and t-boned the car that I was driving...without a license. Anywho, while passing on the bridge that the accident happened on I ask my partner-in-crime (my twin sis Ingrid), "If we were to get in an accident right now would you let me use your license? You know, seeing that we are twins?"
She (of course) said no, but then I pursued.
"What if the accident is not my fault, but the fault of another drivers..." Before she could answer our car was hit by another driver.

So you see, Marie may be a little country; and Donnie a little rock n' roll, but I'm a whole lotta psychic (wow, that's really cheesy).

Thank you
I rest my case,

E

There is so much to say.

2004-12-06T13:45:00.000-05:00

I've been meaning to post about 3 entries in the last 4 days, but I have been too busy. I've been getting ready for exams and trying to finish up on Christmas shopping. Anyway, I'm glad to at least have a little time now.

Okay, so this is how this is going to be done. I'm gonna have 3 topics in one blog. So let's get it started...

1.) Why are people ugly? Why do people think I'm ugly?

When I say ugly I mean rude or cocky. I was recently told that people did not like my family, or was intimidated by us because they thought us to be mean, heartless bitches. This person told me that we intimidate people just by the way we look. They mentioned that we all had an air of over-confidence and "shellness." My cousins (the crackheads) said that they didn't like us because we thought that we were better than everyone. Who the fuck said that? Not me. They also realized that our education level precedes theirs so that also makes them feel uncomfortable; as if we would try and "school" them. My sister got in a fight a couple of years ago because a girl (from our church) walked up to her and said, "You Simpsons' think ya'll are better than everybody else! Ya'll aren't that smart and cute like everyone says!"

My mother is a single mother who raised four intelligent young-women. Just because I (and my counterparts (friends/family) ) am not: trifling, pregnant, non-educated, and a nasty mongrel, doesn't make me cocky. It makes me proud and happy that I've achieved above and beyond what people (of my cohort) are supposed to achieve. And all of my friends know that I do not tolerate a lack of self-confidence. You can be oblivious to romance (Terri and Heather), but you can not lack self-confidence. I won't allow it (and Heather knows this more than anyone). I wouldn't be associated with my friends if they weren't a genuinely fabulous person.

Over the years I've dealt with people thinking that I'm cocky, smug, arrogant...whatever you want to call it. I've had some of my friends parents hate me because of their own insecurities; I've had women hate me because their husbands were attracted to me. I've had people wanting to see me fail in life because they couldn't stand the fact that I was actually "making it (whatever "making it" may be)."

Okay, so I would indulge you with topics two and three, but apparently I had a lot to say with the first topic. I will post another entry...maybe. You know how indecisive I can be.

E

My momma burnt the turkey...

2004-11-30T11:32:00.000-05:00

...it's true. My mother did burn the turkey. Actually our oven caught fire. It needs to be replaced; its older than my mother. Anyway, thanksgiving was wonderful! I met people/family I did not know I had. We sung and danced (in true black tradition), and we ate like a mo-fo! Ooh, and I met a crackhead who was trying to sell me (stolen) Dove's body wash (it was hilarious). It had the Wal-mart tag still hanging off of it. Oh, I also saw the film "Alexander." I've got one thing to say about that..."man servant!" If you know what I mean then post a comment. Alexander was a really good film; I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I went with my sister Ingrid and we had a grand ol' time.

E

Cool phrases and such...

2004-11-22T12:35:00.000-05:00

Everytime I hear something that pleases my ear I have to write it down. Usually I never incorporate it into a song, but I feel like I have lain them to waste. So here goes. I'm gonna put them into my blog.

N.S.(new subject)-My sister is writing a song about me. Everyone in our band "Pinch Interrogation" have seen the Disney movie, "Luck of the Irish." They love it; I personally haven't seen it (and I don't have a desire to see it). So my sister is writing a funny song about it. My bandmates secretly wish my death whenever I don't know what they are talking about; whenever they mention the movie.

Anywho--Back to the phrases.

1. Beware the company you keep
2. By the pricking of our thumbs something wicked this way comes-Ray Bradbury (by the way, if the band name "pinch interrogation never works out, then "something wicked this way comes" is one of my desired names for a group).
3. Journeys end where lovers meet-Shirley Jackson (The Haunting of Hill House)
4. And they shall know us by the trail of our dead-Cool emo band's name
5. These knuckles break before they bleed-Emery (cool emo band)
6. the word "catechism"
7. Beware of Greeks bearing gifts-Xena: Warrior Princess
8. The heart may betray, but the sword never lies-Xena: Warrior Princess

...and a whole mess more. I have to make another entry, "cool phrases II."

E

What's the deal yo?

2004-11-16T11:39:00.000-05:00

There is so much I could rant and rave about. I've been planning on ranting about this particular subject (the one I'm about to discuss) for some time now. I recently was involved with this ass (who doesn't deserve to be named)and people think that the falling out I had with him caused me to scorn love...or dating...or men? I had scorned love years before meeting him. The only reason I even "went" with him was because I couldn't hate something I've never experienced (Actually, I never was in love with him; maybe in lust...). It wasn't because I was just getting into college, and it wasn't because of my "naive, little girl" persona.

The reason you are getting the backlash of this is because I was talking with a worker @ the studio where I tape my television show. It was a horribly good conversation. I was by myself; needless to say I enjoyed her company. We talked about everything, and then we stumbled upon the subject of relationships. I told my epic about how I do not plan to marry, and how I plan to beat out Mother Teresa as the oldest living virgin. She laughed and claimed that my previous relationship caused me to be jaded. This is not the truth. I told her to ask anyone who knew me well. I'd planned on being the oldest virgin at the age of 12.

Oh, and why is it that I'm getting so much interest now. Like I'm a fucking loan or a car! I have every walk of life trying to get at me. Everyone from the campus police stalker who conveniently "bumps into me after every class," to the Abercrombie and Fitch guy who likes to accidentally rub into me. I'm so confused. Ooh, but there is this one guy! He is Israeli, and he smells like Heaven. I find him staring time to time. He finally talked to me the other day and I almost attacked him (the good attack).

Okay so I am finished ranting. I'll leave you to your bowl of Lucky Charms!

E

Registration Day...

2004-11-10T11:35:00.000-05:00

...Is like going to Hell with gasoline panties on! This is one of the most dreaded times in my life. Whenever I have to register for new classes I want to rip out my eyeballs and eat liver pudding. I'd rather be at home doing something I haven't done in a long time...sleeping. UNCC is so busted. We have way too many people registering at the same time so the system automatically fails. Sometimes you win, and most of the time you don't.

E

p.s.-Today is November 10th...opening night of "The Vagina Monologues," @ Off-Tryon Theatre! This event is so popular that they are extending it a week. All of the scheduled nights (thus far) are sold out! Wish me luck!

How can we allow it to happen again?

2004-11-03T13:30:00.000-05:00

I had a huge post about Bush getting re-elected that was filled with a lot of angst and cursing. I feel that God made it disappear because he knew that my mouth would have gotten me in a lot of trouble.

I will say that in the next four years we will invade more countries and kill many more people. Americans will die, and America will finally get the clue that Bush has selfish intentions. How many people have to die? How many lies have to be told? When are we gonna realize that Bush has (and will) messed us up. Can people really be that stupid? Why were we dumb enough to let him back into office? I'm scared, because so many Americans bought the dumb as Hell lie about the WMD! Bush is gonna keep telling more lies (b/c we are dumb enough to buy them).

May God be with us!

E

I make my sister cry...

2004-10-28T19:11:00.000-04:00

*cue dramatic piano music(preferably from A Perfect Circle's song called "Imagine")*

You know I have a soundtrack to my life. I walk around as if I am in a music video, or performing in front of someone. Wow! That statement confirms my sanity. Anywho, there is a reason for the confusing title of this blog entry. I found out that I make my sister cry. We were filling out a friendship survey (which I will post) and my sister put that the last time she cried was because of me.

So there you have it. I kill puppies and make sisters cry. Am I really that mean?

E

A little more about me...

2004-10-28T16:19:00.000-04:00

1. What is your full name? ENGLAND ELISE SIMPSON

2. What color pants are you wearing? BLACK DRESS PANTS

3. What are you listening to right now? NOTHING

4. What is the last thing you ate? A CHICKEN WING FROM KFC

5. Do you wish on stars? SOMETIMES

6. How is the weather right now? CLOUDY

7. Last person you talked to on the phone? TERRI D.

8. Do you like the person who sent you this? Yes, I LOVE TERRI AND INDIA

9. How are you today? LAZY AND SHITTY

10. Favorite drink? IBC CREAM SODA AND YOOHOO

11. Favorite alcoholic drink? DON'T DRINK IT'S ALL NASTY, I WOULD SAY MARIJUANA

12. Favorite sport? MARTIAL ARTS (SHOTOKAN KARATE)

13. Hair color? BLACK

14. Eye color? BROWN

15. Do you wear contacts or glasses? I'M NOT BLIND LIKE MY FAMILY

16. # of siblings? 3, one of which I make cry

17. Favorite Month? DECEMBER (CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!)

18. Favorite food? SUSHI

19. Last movie you watched? WOMAN THOU ART LOOSED, ALFIE (IN THEATER), THE COLOR PURPLE JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO

20. Favorite Day of the year? CHRISTMAS/HALLOWEEN

21. What do you do to vent anger? CUT A BITCH AND A HO...ACTUALLY I CURSE THE CLOSES PERSON OUT.

22. What was your favorite toy as a child? JUNIOR MAKEUP KITS

23. Summer or winter? SPRING (I MAKE MY OWN FUCKING OPTIONS)

24. Hugs or Kisses? BOTH

25. Chocolate or vanilla? VANILLA

27. Do you want your friends to email you back? Yes

28. Who is the most likely to respond? TERRI AND INDIA

29. Who is least likely to respond? JENNIFER

30. Living arrangements? HOME

31. When was the last time you cried? ANYWHO, I CRIED YESTERDAY IN THE BATHROOM MIRROR SO THAT I COULD SEE IF I COULD MAKE MYSELF CRY.

32. What is under your bed? DILDOS/VIBRATORS

33. Who is the friend you have had the longest? OTHER THAN FAMILY I MET THEM ALL AROUND THE SAME TIME

34. What did you do last night? MADE DINNER AND WATCHED T.V.

35. Favorite smells? MAN THAT SMELLS GOOD, CURVE (GOOD ANSWER INDIA), GOOD ANSWER INDIA AND INGRID

36. Who inspires you? PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST LIKE ME, WHO MAKE IT IN LIFE (OPRAH)

37. What are you afraid of? BEING BORED IN ETERNITY, AND HAVING NO OTHER OPTION OUT!

38. Plain, buttered or salted popcorn? LIGHTLY BUTTERED AND LIGHTLY SALTED POPCORN

39. Favorite car? TRICKED OUT CLASSIC PONY (A MUSTANG FOR THE LESS KNOWLEDGEABLE)

40. Favorite flower? I'M NOT THAT TYPE O' GAL

41. Number of keys on your key ring? 4

42. Can you juggle? I DON'T CARE ENOUGH TO LEARN

43. Favorite day of the week? SATURDAY

44. What did you do on your last birthday? NOT A DAMN THING THANKS TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS

45. Do you have a donor card? BLOOD YES! ORGANS...HELL NO! I DON'T WANT DICK CHENEY GETTING MY HEART!

Ouch...its making my head hurt...

2004-10-18T13:21:00.000-04:00

I am trying to log into my yahoo email and it will not let me log in. So I try my other yahoo mail account. It let's me into my t.v. shows account, but it will not let me into my regular account. So now I am trying to trick it, but it is not falling victim to my advances...I need to check my email. It is imperative that I check my email. I bet someone gave me a virus. Or better yet...Figured out my password and changed it. Damn you Tommy Tutone!

E

BTW, I'm signing things with "E" instead of England. I think "E" gives me more of an edge. Makes me look bad to the bone.

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum...

2004-10-11T22:10:00.000-04:00

The title of this entry comes from "A Perfect Circle" song. If you are not familiar with this band then you should be. I aspire to be something like them. Anywho, I was asleep today and I realized that I should've been Japanese. I love Japanese food, culture, heritage, movies, language, martial arts, animation and especially their men! Also, while asleep I thought about how much I wished my band would "work out." We never all practice together, and I think the members morale has significantly decreased. My show is doing well (I'm getting recognized every 10 seconds from it), I'm finally getting gigs as an actress (I got a callback for this indie film, plus the V-Monologues), and I'm doing great in school...and I do mean great! Even though I'm being blessed with all of these opportunities I feel horrible, b/c I'm not able to do what I passionately want to do...and that is being in my band; singing with my band. You guys have no idea how badly I want us to work. I sometimes find myself driven to tears just thinking about how good we COULD BE! It hurts inside. It really hurts me. I hate being in this ridiculous mood. If it were so easy to leave this "band" thing all behind then I would have; but I can't. I love it...no...them too much to let this band falter. Please pray for us.

England

Sometimes Vanity rings true...

2004-10-07T13:20:00.000-04:00

My recent headshot
Recent Headshot

"Sittin' here is blowin' my mind..."

2004-10-07T12:55:00.001-04:00

"...Can't think of the last. I never once could take it (pause) all for granted." I don't know why that song is in my head. Anywho, guess what? No, don't just say "what" and expect me to tell you. I really want you to friggin' guess! Well, that was a good guess, but no! Actually I really didn't have anything. I was testing the realms of our partnership by asking you that rhetorical question. Speaking of rhetoric...I got that test back! Wait, I never told you about the test. It anal raped me. Not too badly though. The doctor says I can get the stitches removed any day now. WOW! That was too far. Anywho, I got a low "C" on that *bleeping* exam. I didn't study my ass off, but I did take good notes. And I haven't missed a day in that class. So yeah, I'm pretty mad. So as you can see this blog entry isn't going anywhere so I'll end this insufferable agony now!

"And they shall know us by the trail of our dead..."--Cool band name.

England

And then there were Vaginas...

2004-10-06T22:10:00.000-04:00

Hey,
As some may or may not know I am an actress (of some sort). I recently got into a local production of The Vagina Monologues. My sister and I auditioned for it, and I got in and she didn't. I don't feel bad for her though, she always gets cool parts. Cool, paying parts! Anywho, if you are in the Charlotte area you should come see me perform November 10-13, at the Off-Tryon Theatre. I am excited!! Actually...come on the 10th! It's pay what you can night!!!

England

Burberry Cologne...

2004-10-05T13:03:00.000-04:00

Hi! It's me...England! Anywho, I had the time of my life at the Xena Meetup in Charlotte, NC. I met a new friend named Myra. This chick rocks! She has personally meet, and had drinks with almost everyone I idolize or worship. You (not me of course) would think her a liar, but she had personal photos and everything. She had one photo of her and Hudson Leick (Callisto off of Xena) with Hudson's legs wrapped around her body. Anywho, she is gonna help my sister and I (plus Terri Day if she can scrounge up $300) to go to The Xena Con in Pasadena in 2006. She was gonna help us for the one in January, but (of course) I wouldn't be able to go. Anywho, you have seen my true dork side. So I shall leave you now with this small, but vital reminder. I am bigger than you, so don't pick at me!

England
BTW, I have a book report due tomorrow, and I haven't finished the book!

Something Wicked this way comes...

2004-10-03T03:10:00.000-04:00

...Well! That didn't hurt much. I still have all 10 fingers and toes. No nausea, that's always a good thing. And I'm not crying uncontrollably. Oh, hello. Didn't realize I forgot to properly introduce myself. I am England. This is my blog. If you stumbled upon this in search of hot 'man-meat' porn then I'm sorry. Anywho, I created this blog because I saw my friends blog and decided to post a comment. Long story short; blogger.com stuck it's tiny claws in me and here I am. I hope you enjoy your stay here. Feel free the indulge yourself with the continental breakfast.